


Stop Being Sorry

by Lucy_Claire



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:36:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucy_Claire/pseuds/Lucy_Claire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unable to cope with the losses they suffered and the damage the Singularity caused, Barry blames himself for everything that happened and drops off the map, but the only one who can get a hold of him and help him move on is Oliver.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Being Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts: 'I'm sorry. I don't know' and 'It's okay to cry' requested by nananananabatfam and bwarethemoon

 

Central City had a completely different feel to it from the last time Oliver had visited. To start with, there was an air of depression hanging around every part of the city that seemed to stem from the most damaged parts of it.

Oliver passed by Jitters, the last time he was there was five or so months ago with Felicity, but where it was once full of chatter, the scent of coffee and a soothing ambience of cozy closeness and soft light it was now run down and abandoned. He wondered where Barry and his friends now hung out if Jitters was gone and STAR Labs seemed to be practically empty. Felicity still kept in touch with Caitlin, so Oliver knew she had gone to work for Mercury Labs but knew nothing more about Iris, Cisco or even Barry himself.

Barry had gone completely dark since he closed the Singularity that appeared over Central City, not answering to calls, texts or visits from anyone since Detective Thawne shot himself and the Reverse-Flash vanished from reality. If Oliver knew Barry, and he did, he knew that he was not one to normally internalize his issues, when he had a problem he wanted to talk about it. The only times he didn’t say anything about it outright was when the problem was about the person he avoided talking to.

Which meant that whatever had been bothering him all these months involved the Wests and his friends. It involved Oliver. Which was why he was not making the same mistake of warning Barry before he decided to stop by for a visit.

Felicity’s checkups on STAR Labs showed that only one person was making it in and out and leaving a heat signature at certain hours of the day, it pin-pointed Barry’s time there in between six to eleven every night which meant that now, at 9 AM sharp, he had to be either in there or on a rescue. No police radio in a thirty-mile radius gave Oliver’s headphone any hints of trouble so that left nowhere else for Barry to be.

Oliver carefully slipped in the building, expertly not setting off any alarms, and took his time walking to the cortex. The place was clean, in perfect order and only a section of it was lit. Barry obviously loved this place and most of memories he had of it too much to let it go or be tainted by what the Reverse-Flash did here.

The cortex was empty, but not for long, since the instant Oliver came close to the Flash suit Barry rushed into the room and caught his wrist before his gloved fingers could touch the symbol on its chest.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Barry demanded, no actual bite to his tone but no easygoing calmness there either. 

Oliver threw off the hood of his jacket and Barry released his arm. “Oliver?”

“It’s nice to know you’re alive, Barry.”

Barry backed up, crossing his arms and gazing down at Oliver in what he probably thought was a disapproving stance but the sag of his shoulders, slight curve in his back and sadness in his eyes showed too much avoidance to be even halfway intimidating. “Why are you here?”

“Why do you think I’m here? I’m here to check on you, see what your excuse is for ignoring everyone you know.” 

Barry turned away, shaking his head. “Go home, Ollie.”

Oliver stopped him, the grip on his upper arm holding him steady. “Not until you tell me what’s been going on.”

Barry moved so fast he left Oliver’s grip hanging in the air. “Do I have to tell you? Do I really have to?”

Oliver was started to really get annoyed, he didn’t like people dodging his questions or making him put more effort than it was worth for answers. Normally when anyone pulled the oblivious game with him he went straight for breaking their bones but this was Barry, his friend, the only other person who could understand the burden of wanting to save his city and keep it safe, to put his life on the line to save others and to have his life completely reshaped and complicated by it. If he couldn’t understand whatever problem Barry was having then he might as well have failed him as an ally and as a friend.

“Yes, you have to.”

“I screwed up everything,” Barry stated flatly. “I’m the reason this whole city and the lives of everyone around me went to hell.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m not joking, Oliver.”

“Neither am I. What gave you the idea that whatever happened was entirely your fault?”

“Letting Wells out after you helped me catch him, trusting him, having Cisco build a damn time machine for him, letting myself think I can go back and save my mom and let him go back to the future, losing that hope and then preventing him from going back, which made him angry enough that he was going to kill all of us.” Barry stopped, eyes on the floor, his voice losing its furious heat and loudness as he practically whispered, “Eddie killed himself to save me. If I hadn’t done any of that Eddie would still be here, the Singularity would have never opened, the city wouldn’t have been shaken up, Firestorm would still be intact and — and —”

Barry put his face in his hands then moved them up to press the heels of his palms against his eyes before he ran his fingers through his hair and gripped chunks of it, pulling hard, causing himself some kind of sobering pain that kept him talking. “Ronnie and Caitlin would still be married, Iris and Eddie would be engaged and planning their wedding, Joe would still have his partner and so many people would still be alive.”

“Barry, you couldn’t have predicted any of that happening and you stopped it before even more damage could happen.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that what happened did happen.”

“Exactly.”

Barry finally looked right at him. “What?”

“It happened, for whatever reason or reasons that caused it, all this happened and if it didn’t, if you back in time and erased it some other disaster would have taken its place, and you know what? You would have still blamed yourself for it even if it was out of your hands.”

Barry started to turn away again. “Oliver —”

Oliver didn’t even consider his speed when he grabbed his head and forced Barry to face him. “Don’t try to deny it, you know what happened was all started by Wells, everything that spiraled into what it is today was because he chose to come back in time, try to kill you and then spire you by killing your mother instead.”

“Why are you reminding me of this?”

“Because, judging by your attitude, you’ve forgotten.” Oliver exhaled, releasing some of the tension that crawled up every bone in his body when Barry started blaming himself for everything. Taking all the blame for the unavoidable was a habit that took years for Oliver to shake off, but not entirely. “Wells. Thawne. Whatever his name was, he caused everything from killing your mother, sending your father to jail, creating the Flash and all the metas, and Eddie killing himself.”

“Don’t —”

Oliver shook Barry’s head, cutting off his denial. “Stop lying to yourself and stop blaming yourself for everything, it is not going to help, it is not going to bring them back, all it’s going to do is make you miserable and that is not what you or anyone who needs you or loves you wants.”

“What else am I supposed to do then?”

“Aside from not blaming yourself for others’ choices and mistakes? Move on.”

Barry shut his eyes, squeezing the tears out so they linked his lashes and kept his eyes watery rather than falling down his face. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how.”

“Start by not being sorry, own what you did and only what you did, whether it was risky or whether it saved millions of lives. You’re a hero, Barry, not God, there’s only so much you can do and you can’t control what everyone else does.” Oliver loosened his grip on Barry’s head, his hands moving from the back of Barry’s head to cup his face, wiping his tears with his thumbs. “Eddie made his choice, so did Doctor Stein and Ronnie, Iris knows that, Caitlin knows it, and if you asked them they would tell you the same thing.”

“What do I do now?”

“Nothing beyond your limits.”

“How do I start moving on?”

Oliver was not the best person to ask about letting go or moving on, his anger and need for vengeance was what kept him going for so long, was what led to him becoming the Arrow, but the one thing that helped him get better was having a team, someone to talk to. “Talk to your friends again, they’re the only ones who’ll understand and they miss you. You were all in it together and you’re the only ones who can help.”

“What about you?”

“You can always talk to me, about anything.”

Barry nodded, rubbing his eyes. Oliver moved one hand to push Barry’s away. “Here’s another way to move on, let yourself be upset, it’s okay to cry, you know.”

Barry made a tired huffing sound that must have been the closest thing to a laugh he was capable of letting out. “That’s funny coming from you, Mr. Cold-and-Unfeeling.”

Oliver tapped Barry’s face lightly, too light for a smack, too fond for a slap. “If I was cold and unfeeling would I be here, trying to knock some sense into you for your own well-being?”

Barry smiled slightly, putting a hand over the one still holding his face. “No, I guess not.”

“Good, because you’re the last person I want to live through what I did and if it helps even in the slightest I’ll come down here every week to remind you of everything I just told you.”

“Every week, huh? You must really love me.”

“You know I do.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://lucyclairedelune.tumblr.com)


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